Talking to toddlers and preschoolers about sex Sex education can begin anytime

Sex education can begin anytime. Here's how to set the stage — and how to answer your children's questions.

Sex education is a topic many parents would prefer to avoid. And if you have young children, you might think you're off the hook — at least for a while. But that's not necessarily true. Sex education can begin anytime. Let your children set the pace with their questions.
Early exploration

As children learn to walk and talk, they also begin to learn about their bodies. Open the door to sex education by teaching your children the proper names for their sex organs, perhaps during bath time. If your children point to a body part, simply tell them what it is. This is also a good time to talk about which parts of the body are private.

When your children ask questions about their bodies — or yours — don't giggle, laugh or get embarrassed. Take their questions at face value. Offer direct, age-appropriate responses. If your children want to know more, they'll ask.
Expect self-stimulation

Many toddlers express their natural sexual curiosity through self-stimulation. Boys may pull at their penises, and girls may rub their external genitalia. Teach your children that masturbation is a normal — but private — activity. If your child starts masturbating in public, try to distract him or her. If that fails, take your child aside for a reminder about the importance of privacy.

Sometimes, frequent masturbation can indicate a problem in a child's life. Perhaps he or she feels anxious or isn't receiving enough attention at home. It can even be a sign of sexual abuse. Teach your children that no one is allowed to touch the private parts of their bodies without permission. If you're concerned about your child's behavior, consult his or her doctor.
Curiosity about others

By age 3 or 4, children often realize that boys and girls have different genitals. As natural curiosity kicks in, you may find your children playing "doctor" or examining each other's sex organs. This exploration is far removed from adult sexual activity, and it's harmless when only young children are involved. As a family matter, however, you may want to set limits on such exploration.
Everyday moments are key

Take advantage of everyday opportunities to discuss sex. If there's a pregnancy in the family, for example, tell your children that babies grow in a special place inside the mother. If your children want more details on how the baby got there or how the baby will be born, offer them.

Consider these examples:

* How do babies get inside a mommy's tummy? You might say: "A mom and a dad make a baby by holding each other in a special way."
* How are babies born? For some kids, it might be enough to say: "Doctors and nurses help babies who are ready to be born." If your children want more details, you might say: "Usually a mom pushes the baby out of her vagina."
* Why doesn't everyone have a penis? Try a simple explanation, such as: "Boys and girls bodies are made differently."
* Why do you have hair down there? Simplicity often works here, too. You might say: "Our bodies change as we get older." If your children want more details, add: "Boys grow hair near their penises, and girls grow hair near their vaginas."

As your children mature and ask more detailed questions, you can provide more detailed responses. Answer specific questions using correct terminology. Even if you're uncomfortable, forge ahead. Remember, you're setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the years to come.